One of our members husband is in the hospital

I need to clarify, when I said I'm his punching bag... I did not mean literally, I mean emotionally & financially.

I have to do it to preserve my interest in our marital assets. He's bequeathing our stuff & money to 3rd parties; one who is a grown man with a job who does not depend on him for income. With all the changes he has made; upon his death I'm left with a house under water & taking care of his remains with 10K from a policy that he kept me on; when there is over 200K in life insurance & stock funds. Not to mention his pension that he is trying to get me off as beneificary.

The problem is that your husbands are sick. That's why they act the way they do. You can't blame someone if their brain is full of ammonia. The last two replies sound vindictive and hostile. It shouldn't be about money and cremation, but trying to help people who can't help themselves. I don't understand these feelings. Either you love them, or you don't. If I were the one with HE, I hope my brother wouldn't abandon me, just because I was mentally ill from ESLD. Maybe I'm the exception, but I hope not. "Hate the sin, not the sinner," applies here.

Needhelp. You sound like a brilliant expert. What should we do?? We can't win with you can we? We KNOW THE MEAN JACKASSES are sick! The law doesn't allow us to do what we need. In their illness, their rotten meanness is shining strong.
If he is leaving her broke she should cremate him. When they make their beds they can lie in them. I begged for a support group while he was still independent. He refused. We could have taken preemptive measures and not be in this place.

You need to get off our back and be SUPPORTIVE. If you can't manage that, go to the HW forum. That's where the attack dogs hang.

We aren't punching bags and it is a FACT that we must take care of ourselves first or we will be incapable if providing help for our patients.

Did you come here to bash? You clearly haven't found yourself where we are and I'm sure you will someday.
These mean men are sick. They aren't stupid. Who destroys the people who are helping them? Blazers. Most people with liver failure due to hep or alcohol had very dysfunctional lives. They were addicts. They didn't turn into angels once they got sick. Illness is no excuse for accountability failure.

Actually, moonpie, there is no reason a person should allow abuse. Find a judge or doctor who will back you uo. You can't. It's called tough love. She doesn't deserve to put her whole future in jeopardy because someone with a peachy life says so. Wake up. My cremation comment wasn't vindictive. It was real. He won't be here and scriptures say the dead know not a thing. When our Lord returns he will make our bodies new heavenly bodies. Christ never said to preserve the body. He said let the dead bury the dead. That infers that we should concern ourselves with the living. Hello. At that point she will be alive and giving him an expensive funeral that he left her in no place to afford is ridiculous and irresponsible. If you are going to point your finger you can expect the same from me.